Threat #1: SOLVED! (kinda)

A few weekends ago a big group went to Utica Reservoir out in the Sierra Nevadas for some camping, swimming, and flailing around in a giant inflatable hamster ball.

Car 1 arrived Friday evening and set up camp; Car 2 arrived around three on Saturday morning, set up our tents and passed out. Cars 1 & 2 woke up at 5:30 Saturday morning when a bear arrived to rifle through the cooler and bags of food that were sitting in the middle of camp, about fifteen feet from everyone’s tents.

No one was entirely sure what to do—some yelled, some clapped, some shone flashlights—half the noise we made was debating back and forth whether or not to throw things, keep yelling, etc.

Doug, however, had his iPhone in his tent. Doug had network coverage. And Doug achieved what surely must be the first recorded instance of using an iPhone to Google what to do during a bear attack during a bear attack.

(yes, that’s a bear bite in the pita bread)

He didn’t learn anything all that useful, but eventually the bear went away when it started to get lighter and/or he got sick of our shouting… though he did eat most of the sweet stuff and an entire tub of Gorgonzola cheese. But the breakfast burrito fixings survived intact—as did the mimosas and the beer, which we used that morning at breakfast to toast Santa the Bear (he ate the cookies and the milk), may he never return.